wyhr.orgWendy’s World

I read this in the July issue of Real Simple.

Jeremy produces big events for big companies and explained that, in the world of event planning, there are basically three qualities: good, fast and cheap. When producing an event, you can guarantee clients that they will get two of those things. But they cannot have all three. And the two that they choose always eliminates the third.

The editor goes on to say that she has decided that this applies to nearly everything she might make or do in her life. Well, I agree! I learned this lesson while being an engineer. I worked to develop new candy for people to enjoy. Of course, the company (i.e. my client) always wanted a high quality product (good) at the highest efficiency possible (fast & cheap). Actually, a veteran engineer explained it as a triangle with quality, price and speed being the three points. The triangle always existed with three points just with different proportions. You could never have an equilateral triangle, it would always be isoceles.

I think that’s true of most things in life. We can never have it all…we will never have it all figured out. The triangle and our limitations exist.

“It isn’t the great big pleasures that count the most; it’s making a great deal out of the little ones.”
~Jean Webster, Daddy-Long-Legs

If you’ve ever been around me, you may know that I have control issues. I like to be in control. It took me a while to realize it but there, I’ve admitted it!

Anyway…I read this in Real Simple recently and I thought I would share:

Some time ago, I read an article about sleep problems that contained this advice: When you are lying awake at night worrying about some thing or another, think of your worries as leaves on a stream, floating past you. In other words, acknowledge them, but let them go…I would be lying if I told you that imagining leaves in a stream has enabled me to sleep like a baby. But it has helped me to remember that capturing every worry that floats by is not the way I want to live.

There is a dichotomy here…You can control the controllables…But you can’t control everything…

I suspect that those who are handling this turbulent time best are the individuals who can watch the leaves go by on the stream and know they don’t need to capture (and confront) every one.

editor’s note: In this issue, we also profile five women from different fields who have recently been laid off. Talk about losing control. No doubt many of you know people like this: capable professionals who showed up at work one day only to have the floor fall out from under them. But something curious has happened to the women in “After Losing a Job…What Comes Next?: Each in her own way, accepts–sometimes even embraces–the loss of control. Each wants to see where her life takes her next.

Recently I came across this profound statement in my Real Simple magazine.

“What’s the one thing you would have done differently as a mom? (Answer) Recently I had this conversation with someone I had considered one of the best mothers I know―the kind who never missed a kid’s concert or a PTA conference. Her children are grown now, and they are neither independent nor particularly grateful. ‘I should have let them fail,’ she told me. ‘When my daughter forgot to do her homework, I shouldn’t have done it for her. When the other one got caught shoplifting, I should have let her spend a night in jail.’ For better or worse, your mother has probably given this subject a good deal of thought.”

I agree with this mom. We are not perfect and it’s all too easy to be obsessed with perfection and order and playing the right part. Resist – make mistakes!