wyhr.orgWendy’s World

Recently, my husband wrote to Zappos asking them if it was at all possible for him to return a pair of shoes that, over time, he realized he didn’t like.

See he had ordered many pairs of sneakers, wore them around the house for a few hours before deciding on one pair and sending the rest back. He then brought this pair on our summer vacation to San Francisco and Yosemite…and that’s when it happened. He started to feel a digging in the side of his foot and no longer liked the shoes. After vacation, he didn’t really wear them and returned to Zappos to find another pair. Six months later he wrote to Zappos and asked if he could return them.

They said yes…with a 100% refund!

You think he would be excited…but he wasn’t. His brow was furrowed and you could tell he was deep in thought.

Now my brow furrowed. I asked, “Aren’t you happy?” And he said, “But I wore them, I was maybe thinking of a 50% credit or something. I just don’t understand. How are they making a profit?”

He was basically saying, “This seems unfair” and he’s right. It is.

That’s the thing about gifts. The Oxford Dictionary defines a gift as “(noun) a thing given willingly to someone without payment; a present”.

Gifts are given without any benefit to the giver.

But is that how we give gifts?

Think about Christmas. How many of those gifts felt like an obligation versus a desire, a true desire to give something to someone without expecting anything in return?

So is it any wonder that my husband struggles with the concept of accepting an over-the-top refund from Zappos?

And is it any wonder that we struggle to accept God’s gift? And if we cannot accept this gift ourselves, how do we explain it to everyone else?

I would consider myself a generous person and so, most of the time, I tip. The thing is – I think it’s getting out of hand. Last night, I went to one of those self-serve frozen yogurt places and there was a tip jar. What exactly am I tipping you for?

I got the cup. I filled the cup with an excellent swirl of frozen yogurt (I learned from the best). I put on the toppings. I put the cup on the scale. The only thing the worker did was put a spoon in my cup and work the cash register, which in this case required an exchange of cash. They didn’t even do math – the register did!

So when I saw the tip jar as I got my change back, I was outraged! Seriously?! Am I tipping you to watch how awesome I am at making my fro-yo exactly the way I want it? Am I tipping you for putting the spoon in my cup? Or was it how you watched me enter, get what I want, skip the undecided and get out in under ten minutes?

I don’t get it. Like lawsuits, tipping is getting frivolous.

I honestly think I’m the funniest person I know…and definitely the most humble. With that being said, I wanted to share a few moments that capture this morning’s interactions with two of my co-workers:

Incident 1
Wendy: “Man, I really want another cup of coffee.”
Co-worker: “No, don’t get coffee. It’s bad for you.”
Wendy: “Wait, why should I listen to you? You don’t eat meat?”

Incident 2
Wendy approaches co-worker who is sitting in a conference room waiting for a meeting to begin. Up to this point, I’ve begrudgingly said good morning in reply to his smiley welcome.
Wendy: “I’m feeling nice today. What coffee do you want?”
Co-worker: <stifled laughter>
Wendy: <stare> but meant to say, what’s so funny? it’s true I feel nice so I want to buy you a coffee. Just tell me what you want already, I’m feeling less nice now.
Co-worker: large coffee with <hand gesture> this much milk
Wendy: <nod>

“I’m breaking in my new yoga pants.” ~ My explanation to David for why I was sitting on the couch watching The Mummy for the 100th time!

Wendy: Enjoying a glass of cool, white wine while reading a book to unwind from her week of work.
Dave: Removes the wine stopper to pour himself a glass. Then holds up a screw cap.
Wendy: “It was a screw off.”
Dave: “That means it is also a screw on.”
Wendy: Stares in utter disbelief then says, “My judgement may be impaired.”
Laughter.

Recently, I heard a co-worker share about an argument that they had with their teen. They shared that they finally got their point across. They, the parent, were right but that it was a hollow victory. It was hollow because that person recalled how many times their parent had been right and how little love there is in being right.

Then last night I heard this quote from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy: “I’d much rather be happy than right any day.”

It made me think – would I rather be happy than right? More precisely, would I rather show love than be right?

“There are two different ways of getting in to a swimming pool. The first way, you take your toe, you carefully test the water’s temperature. And if that feels OK slowly get in to the water letting your body adjust to the cold. Then there’s the second way of getting in to a pool..You…JUMP! That’s me.”

~Molly Shannon, Superstar

If you live in NJ then you know that you don’t really have a choice when it comes to cable providers. If you’re in Morris County, you’re stuck with Cablevision. If you’re in Ocean County, you’re stuck with Comcast. Either way it sucks to be held hostage by the cable monopolies.

Tonight I’ve been held hostage for 30 minutes attempting to report a service problem. The story really begins two nights ago when I was reporting another outage on two different channels. Two nights ago, after navigating a complex maze of menu prompts and getting a live customer service representative, I asked if there was an easier way to report an outage. Nope! I was told I have to go through this maze each time. Seeing as I haven’t had to do it that often over the past year, I accepted this answer calmly.

Until tonight…

when I had to call again to report an outage and was hung up on twice! I used two different phones to report the outage only to be hung up on both times. Supposedly they couldn’t hear me. Want to know the kicker? The second time I called, albeit slightly annoyed but mildly accepting my cell phone had poor reception, I was calling from the landline, you know the phone that is connected to their service. Seriously you’re telling me Cherelle couldn’t hear me from my landline, the phone that is connected to your service? You’re telling me that your phone service does not provide enough reception for me to report a cable outage?

Really?

This dialogue in The Vampire Diaries caught my eye. I wanted to share. It’s about giving up and what I feel when faced with the impossible.

Stefan (vampire): “I’ve seen a lot of evil, Matt, more than you can imagine,” Stefan said. “I’ve even lived it. It’s always going to be a part of me, no matter how I fight it. Sometimes I think the whole human race is evil, much less my kind…I can’t tell you there’s a point or if things are ever going to turn out all right.” Stefan looked straight into Matt’s eyes and spoke deliberately. “But I’ve got another question for you. So what?”
Matt (human) stared. “So what?”
“Yeah, so what?”
“So what if the universe is evil and if nothing we do to try and change it can really make a difference?” Matt’s voice was gaining volume in disbelief.
“Yeah, so what?” Stefan leaned forward. “So what are you going to do, Matt, if every bad thing you’ve said is true? What are you going to do personally? Are you going to stop fighting and swim with the sharks?”
Matt was grasping the back of his chair. “What are you talking about?”
“You can do that, you know. Damon (evil vampire) says so all the time. You can join up with the evil side, the winning side. And nobody can really stop you, because the universe is that way, why shouldn’t we be that way too?”
“Like hell!” Matt exploded. His blue eyes were searing and he had half risen from his chair. “That’s Damon’s way, maybe! But just because it’s hopeless doesn’t mean it’s all right to stop fighting. Even if I knew it was hopeless, I’d still have to try. I have to try, damn it!”
“I know because I feel the same way,” Stefan continued. “There’s no excuse for giving up just because it looks like we’re going to lose. We have to try–because the other choice is surrender.”

Today I will be attending a full-day symposium on food safety.

Yes, it will be extremely difficult to unitask today especially since this is mandatory training (i.e. I think I have better things to do with my time). It will be the first time in years where I will just be listening to the speaker instead of doing a crossword or checking my Blackberry for the hundredth time.

Maybe I’lll be pleasantly surprised.