wyhr.orgWendy’s World

Last Monday I had one of the worst stomachaches of all time. I’m not exaggerating. It equalled a gallbladder attack*.

Some people are scared to puke, the flu isn’t a picnic and who isn’t embarassed to admit they have diarrhea. But since I wasn’t purging anything from my body, I just sat there and got worse. Two hours later, I crawled upstairs to the bedroom and started to cry. I cried and, as a last resort, asked God to take it away.

And then it was gone.

No lie, the pain was gone in minutes. I still felt a bit achy, but the pain I was crying over stopped. Could it really be that easy? Could God just take it away? The answer to both questions is yes.

So why did I wait so long to ask God?

* And, yes, I know what that’s like seeing as I had my gallbladder removed in February 2007.

As a young, married female I get asked this question a lot (for those of you reading this, feel free to stop asking). But I wanted to share with you THE most absurd moment when I was asked this question.

Background:
It’s taken a few doctors to figure out that my gallbladder needs to be removed. It’s February 2007. Since November-December, I haven’t been able to eat much food and have been surviving on bread. Since it’s the morning of my operation, I haven’t even been allowed to eat bread or drink water for the past 8-12 hours. So there I sit in the pre-op room getting hooked up to IVs and waiting to get operated on, in walks a nurse. This nurse is holding a urine collection container and then explains she needs to do a pregnancy test.

Really?
Lady, I haven’t eaten for 8-12 hours. I gave blood a week ago – shouldn’t we have confirmed that I was/wasn’t pregnant then?

Really?
Pee in this cup after no food or water for 8-12 hours.

Really?
Your going to wait until the morning of of the operation to determine if my urine, slightly less accurate than the blood test done a week earlier, will show that I’m pregnant so that I can’t have my gallbladder removed. Did I mention I that I haven’t been eating and am in extreme pain, hence the operation?

Really?
Thanks but no thanks. Someone pass me the yellow food coloring and some water.

I’m almost always cold. When I touch people (with my hands), I often hear a sharp intake of breath as if I’m sucking the very life force out of them. My fingernails and toenails are often a shade of purple. I like warm rocks and seek out the sun. I’m cold-blooded.

These past few 80+ degree days I’ve been a bit warm. As you can imagine, this doesn’t happen too often to me. So when I swore there were bugs crawling all over me, I recalled that when one is experiencing a warm spell, their veins move to the surface of their skin in an effort to cool down.Ah, so it’s not bugs. It’s just my body trying to cool itself down.

Unfortunately, in the middle of the night when I’m half asleep (i.e. not thinking rationally) I still think there are bugs crawling on me. I don’t know how you warm-blooded people deal with this stuff. I’ll stick to my heat rocks.