wyhr.orgWendy’s World

“If the world had more ubuntu*, we would not have war. We would not have this huge gap between the rich and the poor. You are rich so that you can make up what is lacking for others. You are powerful so that you can help the weak, just as a mother or father helps their children. This is God’s dream.”
~Desmond Tutu, God has a Dream

* Ubuntu is the essence of being a person. It means that we are people through other people. We can not be fully human alone. God keeps trying to make us realize we are made for interdependence, we are made for family.

The Way of the Heart by Henri J.M. Nowen was recommended in last week’s chapter of The Sacred Romance. Today I read this and thought I would share:

(The false self) Whether I am a pianist, a businessman or a minister, what matters is how I am perceived by the world. If being busy is a good thing, then I must by busy. If having money is a sign of real freedom, then I must claim my money…The compulsion manifests itself in the lurking fear of failing and the steady urge to prevent this by gathering more of the same — more work, more money, more friends.

These very compulsions are at the basis of the two main enemies of the spiritual life: anger and greed. They are the inner side of a secular life, the sour fruits of our worldly dependencies.

Recently I was reading Charlaine Harris’ new novel, Dead and Gone. A paragraph from the book resonated with me:

Don’t you just hate nights like that, when you think over every mistake you’ve made, every hurt you’ve received, every bit of meanness you’ve dealt out? There’s no profit in it, no point to it, and you need sleep.

Satan definitely hits the replay button on my life a lot. It’s hard to remember, but God has forgiven and forgotten my sins.

as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us. (Psalm 103:12)

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)

Then I acknowledged my sin to you
and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, “I will confess
my transgressions to the LORD “—
and you forgave
the guilt of my sin. Selah (Psalm 32:5)

So this week I was struck by another thing in The Sacred Romance. I know, shocker.

I think most of us read the temptation story of Jesus in the wilderness and think, How unfair. Satan hits him at his weakest moment, when there is no one and nothing around for Jesus to lean on. But we are quite mistaken. Dallas Willard points out in The Spirit of the Disciplines,

“Today, withdrawl from society into solitude seems to indicate weakness, suffering, flight, or failure rather than great strength, joy and effectiveness. Believing that, we, for instance, thoroughly misunderstand the context of Jesus’ temptations after his baptism (Matthew 4). The Spirit, we are told, led him into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. Was this not to put Jesus in the weakest possible position before Satan, starving and alone in the wilds? Most to whom I have spoken about this matter are shocked at the suggestion that the ‘wilderness,’ the place of solitude and deprivation, was actually the place of strength and strengthening for our Lord and that the Spirit led him there–as he would lead us there–to ensure that Christ was in the best possible condition for the trial.”

In James 1 we read:

2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

In The Sacred Romance the author interprets this passage like this:

James tells us in the introductory thoughts to his letter that we should count it all joy when we fall into various tirals because God will use them to make us substantive. He tells us that this will happen as we learn to trust totally in God rather than halfway counting on our own devices with God as a fallback (being double-minded).

I never thought of it in quite this way. I suppose I thought of perseverance as working harder, doing more. But that’s not what God asks for. God is asking for me, just as I am. It’s ok to admit I’m tired. It’s ok to say I cannot go further. It’s ok to rely on Him.

Unfortunately it’s all too easy for me to rely on myself, to be self-sufficient, to think I have to do it all on my own. <sigh>

“Fate rarely calls upon us at a moment of our choosing.”
~Optimus Prime

I would amend this quote to say: “God rarely calls upon us at a moment of our choosing.”

So in my last post I wondered what God was up to. Well I’m starting to figure a few things out, as best a human like me can.

Here is what stands out to me:
1- God is developing my patience. I am SO not a patient person. In high school I bought a poster because it said: “Patience is a virtue, but persistence to the point of success is a blessing.” Trust me, that was my motto. I even mentioned it to my mom when we were talking about my current job situation. She reminded me that God provided her with the right car at the right time (hers had broken down unexpectedly & she was without a car for a 1-2 months). My retort was, “But you have patience!” That’s when it hit me – God is developing my patience. He’s asking me not to jump at the first (job) opportunity, to not cross bridges until I come to them (worry about future scenarios that may not take place) and to trust that He has the best plan in mind for me. I don’t have to do it all on my own. I’m not alone.

2- God is also reminding me of His past fulfillment. God has always provided for me. When my dad was out of work in the winter (he was a plumber who worked in new housing developments that weren’t as plentiful in the winter), we always had food on the table and a roof over our heads. It may not have been ideal, but He always provided for our needs. But, like the Israellites, I easily forget all that God has done for me and worry about the future. [Exodus 14]

3- I need to rely and trust in Him. When the going gets tough, I don’t always turn to God. I often turn to idols, what I put in place of God. I put my self-reliance in the place of God and pretend I can make this all happen on my own. I put money on the throne of my life and pretend that all the money in the world will give keep me safe. The thing is — none of these things are certain, only God is. [Psst, if you think they are read the story of Job or check out Ecclesiastes]

To be honest, this has become a daily battle. I struggle with remembering what I’ve learned.

This was a question that was recently asked on my journey through the book, The Sacred Romance.

I mean what is He thinking?

For those of you who don’t know, the group of 30+ people that I am part of will cease to exist on July 31. Until then, they’re trying to place us in new jobs within the company but there are no guarantees. Talk about a surprise. Talk about shaking things up.

It was during a conversation about my job situation that I realized that I am on an adventure. I mean a real-life, full-fledged, action-packed adventure. It’s what I thought I wanted. Turns out – adventures are scary! I mean I don’t know what’s next. I’m not sure if I’ll have a job in six weeks. Ack! God! What are you doing?!

Funny, huh?

I thought I wanted an adventure. I thought I was pretty wild my self. Turns out I like the simple life. I like the comforts of a paycheck and sitting on my couch. I like the merry-go-round.

Who knew?

So here I stand in the midst of an adventure. God has shaken things up for me. I have the opportunity to take His hand and go on a journey, an adventure with my God.

I’m going to do it.

Stay tuned for the next chapter in my adventure.

About six weeks ago I snagged a copy of Reader’s Digest that was in the hotel gym. I took it because there was a minor headline that caught my eye. After I finished reading my last library book last night, I picked up some of the magazines I had in the “To Read” pile. One of these mags was the Reader’s Digest. That’s when I noticed the major headline “Best New Jobs: The Guide you Need Now”. Turns out it’s a guide on how to conduct your job search.

Totally relevant now that I’ve been told my current job is no longer. But six weeks ago I could have cared less about that article.  That’s when I wondered if God put this in my path. Was it God or just coincidence?

I’m still reading The Sacred Romance: Drawing Closer to the Heart of God. For a few chapters I’ve been wondering how the romance, i.e. the whispers of romantic adventure from God, appeals to men. In my latest readings I found an answer:

“The question every woman is asking goes something like, ‘Am I lovely? Do you want me?’ The question every man is asking is, ‘Do I have what it takes? Am I adequate?’ As men and women, we want to be chosen for different reasons, but we both want to be chosen, to be welcomed into the heart of things, invited into the Drama to live from our heart.”

This chapter was about recognizing that we were created by God and in His image. We are wanted. God doesn’t want the person we become, He doesn’t want the mask & costume we put on for the world. He wants us – naked and unmasked. But we all have been hurt before and so we’re afraid to be that vulnerable to someone again, even God. But we cannot have intimacy, the relationship that God wants with us, without being our true selves.

The quote above describes the questions we ask ourselves as men and women. It helped me to realize that the adventure God is calling us to appeals to men and women for different reasons. Men want to feel worthy and respected for who they truly are. Women want to know that they are beautiful without their mask and they want to feel pursued. As I’m writing this I also realized the words “romantic adventure” help to explain why both men and women are called in to this intimate relationship with God. In Wild at Heart, John Eldridge writes that men seek adventure. That’s why little boys play cowboys and Indians or cops and robbers. As a woman, I know that I desire romance. Romantic adventure. It is in those words that God is calling both men and women to come to know Him fully, in a relationship unlike any other.