wyhr.orgWendy’s World

I know, I know. I finished this study up months ago. The thing is – there’s an epilogue. Since it was such a great study I felt compelled to complete the whole book (this is not a common occurence). I’m glad I did because I found this:

Were there but some deep, holy spell, whereby
Always I should remember thee…
Lord, see thou to it, take thou remembrance’s load:
Only when I bethink me can I cry;
Remember thou, and prick me with love’s goad.
When I can no more stir my soul to move,
And life is but the ashes of the fire;
When I can but remember that my heart
Once used to live and love, long and aspire–
Oh, be thou then the first, the one thou art;
Be thou the calling, before all answering love,
And in me wake hope, fear, and boundless desire.
~George MacDonald, Diary of an Old Soul

The Way of the Heart by Henri J.M. Nowen was recommended in last week’s chapter of The Sacred Romance. Today I read this and thought I would share:

(The false self) Whether I am a pianist, a businessman or a minister, what matters is how I am perceived by the world. If being busy is a good thing, then I must by busy. If having money is a sign of real freedom, then I must claim my money…The compulsion manifests itself in the lurking fear of failing and the steady urge to prevent this by gathering more of the same — more work, more money, more friends.

These very compulsions are at the basis of the two main enemies of the spiritual life: anger and greed. They are the inner side of a secular life, the sour fruits of our worldly dependencies.

So this week I was struck by another thing in The Sacred Romance. I know, shocker.

I think most of us read the temptation story of Jesus in the wilderness and think, How unfair. Satan hits him at his weakest moment, when there is no one and nothing around for Jesus to lean on. But we are quite mistaken. Dallas Willard points out in The Spirit of the Disciplines,

“Today, withdrawl from society into solitude seems to indicate weakness, suffering, flight, or failure rather than great strength, joy and effectiveness. Believing that, we, for instance, thoroughly misunderstand the context of Jesus’ temptations after his baptism (Matthew 4). The Spirit, we are told, led him into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil. Was this not to put Jesus in the weakest possible position before Satan, starving and alone in the wilds? Most to whom I have spoken about this matter are shocked at the suggestion that the ‘wilderness,’ the place of solitude and deprivation, was actually the place of strength and strengthening for our Lord and that the Spirit led him there–as he would lead us there–to ensure that Christ was in the best possible condition for the trial.”

In James 1 we read:

2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

In The Sacred Romance the author interprets this passage like this:

James tells us in the introductory thoughts to his letter that we should count it all joy when we fall into various tirals because God will use them to make us substantive. He tells us that this will happen as we learn to trust totally in God rather than halfway counting on our own devices with God as a fallback (being double-minded).

I never thought of it in quite this way. I suppose I thought of perseverance as working harder, doing more. But that’s not what God asks for. God is asking for me, just as I am. It’s ok to admit I’m tired. It’s ok to say I cannot go further. It’s ok to rely on Him.

Unfortunately it’s all too easy for me to rely on myself, to be self-sufficient, to think I have to do it all on my own. <sigh>

This was a question that was recently asked on my journey through the book, The Sacred Romance.

I mean what is He thinking?

For those of you who don’t know, the group of 30+ people that I am part of will cease to exist on July 31. Until then, they’re trying to place us in new jobs within the company but there are no guarantees. Talk about a surprise. Talk about shaking things up.

It was during a conversation about my job situation that I realized that I am on an adventure. I mean a real-life, full-fledged, action-packed adventure. It’s what I thought I wanted. Turns out – adventures are scary! I mean I don’t know what’s next. I’m not sure if I’ll have a job in six weeks. Ack! God! What are you doing?!

Funny, huh?

I thought I wanted an adventure. I thought I was pretty wild my self. Turns out I like the simple life. I like the comforts of a paycheck and sitting on my couch. I like the merry-go-round.

Who knew?

So here I stand in the midst of an adventure. God has shaken things up for me. I have the opportunity to take His hand and go on a journey, an adventure with my God.

I’m going to do it.

Stay tuned for the next chapter in my adventure.